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kYoshiii
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Name: Jonalyn
Birthday: 2/19/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: Video games, anime, yoooooshi, piano, photoshop, KYO-kun
Expertise: I'm good at...? You decide.
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/18/2005
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| One of my biggest pet peeves is when people are rude, especially during presentations. Okay, so I fall asleep during presentations, but not because I want to... usually because I hadn't gotten sleep the night before so it's only natural that I'd fall asleep. But I at least attempt to pay attention...
... when someone is giving a presentation on something that they've worked on, it's common courtesy to just pay attention. Put your phone away for goodness sakes. If you can't give five or ten minutes of your time to someone, why should you expect anything back?
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| to judge. As people, we all have flaws. And as people, we automatically assume so much about one person based on our initial impressions of them. And it's our responsibility, as people, to look past those assumptions and actually get to know somebody for who they are and not what they happened to be doing at the time. Not based on what you've heard about them from other people.
This is how we make friends.
Is it possible to make friends with the whole world? Sure it is. Why do people dislike others? Why hate? Because there's a miscommunication, a misunderstanding, an opposition in opinion. Of course, it depends on the situation at hand. I don't expect people to accept things for what they are all the time. I don't expect people to be best buddies with the serial murderer on the block. There's a difference between what's wrong, and what's REALLY wrong...
... but what I'm talking about is ... learn to be accepting of others.
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| Something I do every now and then is read the blogs I wrote a year ago. I did that today... and realized that exactly a year ago, I was trying to fight the same thing that I'm going through presently. And for some reason, I had more strength to resist making mistakes last year. It's really ironic, because I think that if I read what I believed a year ago ... I might have not made those mistakes at all.
Saturday, Oct 25th, 2008
Alright. So after my week, I've come to realize a few things. I've been so frustrated with a lot of things. Like one. Who listens to anything anymore? People have ears right? Yet they don't use them. People tend to only use their eyes, which are so objective. And how sad to people who think I don't listen, or I won't listen. Or that I won't keep an open mind, or that I don't even have an open mind. How people think they can read what I'm thinking by just looking at me. How people tend to think only of themselves and not others, or don't even bother to wonder how another person might react to an action they did. How people can judge a person by focusing on just one aspect of them and not bothering to know the others. How easy it is to say "I don't like that person" ... but based on what? And how easy it is, to just get mad. And again, based on what?
Why is it so easy to make fun of someone yet so hard to show appreciation? Easy to get mad but so hard to forgive. Easy to be stubborn. So easy to playfully smack someone but so hard to hug them? So easy to jokingly say "but I love you" but so hard to say it like you really mean it? "But if I do that, it'll be awkward." Will it really? People are the ones that make things awkward. Not gestures. Not words.
I just wish some people would see that. I wish everyone I know would see that. I wish people would just think outside of themselves, for one second. See the bigger picture. Think about the bigger picture.
I'm going to continue to follow what I believe in. I almost let myself be swayed by other people's actions and thoughts but I've come to realize that what really made me unhappy this week, was the fact that I almost lost myself. And I can't let that happen again...
And look. It did happen.
Monday, October 27, 2008
When life gives you lemons...
... eat them. And when your face gets all puckered up, and when you can't stand the sourness, then you know never to eat them again.
What's it really about, anymore? Uncertainties, worries. Why does everyone seem to focus on those, and just on those? Whatever happened to focusing on happiness? Live and let go. Make mistakes, learn from them. Know never to make them again. It's easy to say, but be smart. Have common sense. Why do stupid things, think stupid things, say stupid things, when you know they're stupid? Why get caught up in things that shouldn't even concern you? Why wonder where someone has gone, when they never even left?
Let the people you love know that you love them. Friends, family, significant other. Show your concern, appreciation, care, for them.
Why dance around the truth when you know life is short?
Words of wisdom from the me I want to become again.
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| I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.
It's so hard to expect something from people and then realizing that not everyone is going to meet your own expectations. But in reality, I realized that your own expectations of people should be the expectations you set for yourself. And when you don't follow your own expectations, but still expect them out of other people... that's when everything goes downhill, doesn't it?
I know I've put the blame on so many other people in the past few months. But I also really screwed up a lot this semester. This semester was supposed to be the calm after the storm that was last year. But it really just got worse. And I know that I've ruined my relationships with a few people. And that the people I'm close with now, I don't even fully trust, definitely not as much as the people I was close with before. It's like I built a wall around myself, a wall that I helped so many others in the past break down... and now look at me, putting it up.
Fuck this all. If I hurt you in any way in the past few months, most likely because I was getting back at you for hurting me, I apologize. If I ignored you in any way, on purpose or by accident, in person or by text or by phone call, I apologize. I feel so guilty for all my actions, all my negativity, all the bullshit. I was listening too much to what others were saying. I wasn't listening to how I, myself, would react to this situation. All the things I learned in the past couple years, about learning how to forgive, about learning how to accept people for who they are, and what they do, no matter what, because ALL people have feelings, ALL people have a reason for doing things, ALL people make mistakes ... I just threw all that knowledge away and did what felt good to me, even if it involved beating people down and stepping on them. I was tired of the one being stepped on, that's true, but if not being stepped on involves stepping on others... then I won't have it. I won't be that kind of person that I truly dislike.
I'm tired of being this way. I want things to go back to the way they were. I've changed, but I will be that person who knows how to FORGIVE and NOT forget but REMEMBER how it affected me and, even moreso, the others around me.
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| Ugh. I hate these distracting thoughts. Especially during charette -_-
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